More quotes by Jon Stewart

"You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena."
"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land."
"Most world religions denounced war as a barbaric waste of human life. We treasured the teachings of these religions so dearly that we frequently had to wage war in order to impose them on other people."
"Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake."
"I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days."