More quotes by Jon Stewart

"I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character."
"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land."
"Yes, the long war on Christianity. I pray that one day we may live in an America where Christians can worship freely! In broad daylight! Openly wearing the symbols of their religion... perhaps around their necks? And maybe -- dare I dream it? -- maybe one day there can be an openly Christian President. Or, perhaps, 43 of them. Consecutively."
"I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days."
"The more you delve into science, the more it appears to rely on faith."