I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanu... - Jon Stewart

"Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake."

"I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days."

"The more you delve into science, the more it appears to rely on faith."

"If we amplify everything, we hear nothing."

"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land."