Get there early because hope does not park your mother-fucki... - Jon Stewart
"Get there early because hope does not park your mother-fucking car."
"Get there early because hope does not park your mother-fucking car."
"Yes, the long war on Christianity. I pray that one day we may live in an America where Christians can worship freely! In broad daylight! Openly wearing the symbols of their religion... perhaps around their necks? And maybe -- dare I dream it? -- maybe one day there can be an openly Christian President. Or, perhaps, 43 of them. Consecutively."
"You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena."
"I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days."
"I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character."
"The more you delve into science, the more it appears to rely on faith."