If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you r... - Mark Twain

"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."

"Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."

"I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it."

"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog."

"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."