"I’m 33, and an 18-year-old girl called me old. I said, “You may be temporarily young, but you’ll forever be childish.” Then I put gum in her hair."
"My brain is divided into two butterflies, and both are in love with your rose-shaped heart. If you've got the garden, I've got my whole life."
"If I found 20 dollars on the ground, I’d be willing to bet I’d find someone in desperate need of money that I could give it to. And I’d bet 20 dollars, so even after finding and giving away 20 dollars, I’d have made 20 dollars."
"I want to go to sleep in my time machine and wake up eight hours in the future."
"I don’t want my love with her to wither like grapes on a vine, so I’ll water it with romance to turn it into wine."
"The difference between you and everyone else, is everyone else. And that’s a lot, so you should feel special."