More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Let’s do a 50-50 deal, with me getting 75% of the profits, and you getting the other half. That’s how we can both get the most value out of a relationship."
"Only a fool would say they’re not a fool. Well, I am not a fool, which is why I say I am a fool."
"She’s ignoring my texts. Maybe she’s dead. Oh, I certainly hope so. I’d hate to think she’s being deliberately unresponsive."
"She doesn’t want me to leave, and she doesn’t want me to stay. That’s a double helping of Doesn’t Want Me, and one big I’m Not Hungry back at her."
"My love for you grows daily, and all it takes is exposure to your sunny disposition, coupled with watering it with coffee."