More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I just invented a hug machine. It’s solar powered so you can use it when you feel depressed, like on a cloudy day. Shit."
"Her and I, we passed each other, and now she’s in my past. That’s one present I’d like to unwrap in the future."
"Let’s be romantic and dance in the rain. I’ll prove my feelings for you by bringing an umbrella, because I’m drowning in my love for you."
"Life is about having an attitude of gratitude. And grabitude. Seriously, you’ve got to take stuff. What, do you think someone’s just going to hand you what you want?"
"I’m a natural salesman. I sold my soul to the devil. I’m so shrewd that I got pennies on the dollar for it. Ha! Wait, a buyer who gets pennies on the dollar is the clever one in the deal. Damn it! Lucifer tricked me!"