More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"My I love yous were watered down, which was how I was able to grow such a beautiful garden. I’m a relationship farmer, and I’m growing as a person."
"People with money have to worry about who their real friends are. I don’t have that problem for two reasons: I don’t have any money, and I don’t have any friends."
"I morphed from a fly to a flower to a butterfly, which is like a combination flower and fly. I thought I was in love, but I was merely asleep."
"I think a funny picture would have a caption that read, “Believe in yourself,” with an accompanying image of a wilting flower."
"Professional wrestling is a lot like cuddling, I thought as I hugged a tree. As far as lumberjacks go, I’m slow, but when the tree finally falls for me, it falls hard."