More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"She said she'd love me forever. That was two days ago, so I should probably ask her again if she still feels the same way."
"I watched the leaves change colors, and I thought, “People do that too. Their hair changes color as they age.” I remember that as my grandpa got older, his hair went from green to yellow to red, like a traffic light, only with slightly less honking."
"She looked so sexy with her sixteen cats that I just had to swipe right, but when she messaged me first quoting Monty Python, I knew it was Tinder love. Maybe on the first date we’ll knit the blanket we’ll make love under."
"I saw someone who so closely resembled you that my heart started beating like a hummingbird's wings, and my mind flew back to where we were when we were we’re."
"If you merge an emergency with a mannequin, that’s how I look at networking events. To make each handshake more feel more personal, I try to wear the thinnest rubber gloves I can find."