More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"If love were a dolphin with wings and a unicorn’s horn, being ridden by a blind leprechaun dressed like Rasputin, would you believe in second chances for love at first sight?"
"I count as blessings things I could have benefited from, even if I neglected to utilize them. A gift is still a gift, even if left wrapped and unopened."
"For the funeral I needed a plus one, so I rented a hooker. And then I rented a movie. Rest in peace Grandpa, or whoever you were."
"My I love you was a measured response, like one gallon of coffee in one cup of sugar. It was just overflowing with an awakening of my soul."
"The word very will vary in muchiness. I love you very much, and that won’t vary from day to day."