In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, th... - P.G. Wodehouse

"I just sit at my typewriter and curse a bit."

"As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight."

"There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine."

"He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more."

"I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed, I suppose."