P.G. Wodehouse

"There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine."

"I just sit at my typewriter and curse a bit."

"She looked away. Her attitude seemed to suggest that she had finished with him, and would be obliged if somebody would come and sweep him up."

"I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed, I suppose."

"There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature."

"He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more."

"[A]lways get to the dialogue as soon as possible. I always feel the thing to go for is speed. Nothing puts the reader off more than a big slab of prose at the start."(Interview, The Paris Review, Issue 64, Winter 1975)"

"As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight."

"He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom."

"One of the poets, whose name I cannot recall, has a passage, which I am unable at the moment to remember, in one of his works, which for the time being has slipped my mind, which hits off admirably this age-old situation."

"I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed, I suppose."

"In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness."