He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when... - P.G. Wodehouse

"I just sit at my typewriter and curse a bit."

"There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine."

"[A]lways get to the dialogue as soon as possible. I always feel the thing to go for is speed. Nothing puts the reader off more than a big slab of prose at the start."(Interview, The Paris Review, Issue 64, Winter 1975)"

"There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature."

"One of the poets, whose name I cannot recall, has a passage, which I am unable at the moment to remember, in one of his works, which for the time being has slipped my mind, which hits off admirably this age-old situation."