More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"People tell me I look like my father. I've never seen my dad, so does that mean I look invisible?"
"I’m hard to love, but I love hard, like my heart is the sun yearning to tan your naked body. I promise I won’t burn you."
"If you own the most profitable manure distribution warehouse in the world, you might not like the smell of success."
"Let us embrace each other like we have the arms of two chairs. Let us dance like our legs are those of a table. We should do dinner sometime."
"His name was Tom Tombstone, and if he had a middle name it was probably Death. But I didn’t call him Tom, or even Mr. Tombstone, because he introduced himself as Robert Winston. And I wondered how this stranger could shake my hand, look me in the eye, smile, and expect me to believe such a bold-faced lie?"