More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"30% of the time I am successful 70% of the time. That’s 100% in my book—a book that happens to have a page count that’s 21% Reduced Fat."
"On the scale of tomato to ketchup, my girlfriend is definitely a 57."
"He’s right-handed, so I told him to draw his self-portrait with his left hand, because it’d look so ugly it’d look realistic. Since he’s a DC politician, I figured a little reality was needed in his life."
"As the ice melted, we fell in love—slowly. I just wish the ice were in two glasses of vodka, and not surrounding our bodies."
"How to duplicate yourself: hang out with the same people and say the same things all the time. The you of today is a clone of the you from yesterday."