"I’ve found newspapers only useful as kindling material for campfires. It’s been said that newspaper articles are written at a fifth grade reading level. If so, I can’t figure out why journalists would write something that the average high school senior can’t even read."
"She said she loved me, and I didn’t believe it for a minute. Maybe 59 seconds, but not a whole minute. I may be gullible, but I’m not without an accurate way to measure time."
"If you converted a water fountain into a fire fountain, then you’d have what it takes to stoke the heat I have for you in my heart."
"I’m so shy that if you played “Guess The Mannequin” with me and two mannequins, you’d pick me, because I’m the quiet one. Still, it’s important for me to get out and meet people, even if that means hanging around department stores wearing the latest fashions."
"Don’t ever let the sun set on our love. Not even if it’s so gorgeous it’d make a great postcard. $1.99, if interested."
"After soul searching, I found myself. Then I found myself giving of myself to a charity that finds missing children. It's great to be found."