"I’ve found newspapers only useful as kindling material for campfires. It’s been said that newspaper articles are written at a fifth grade reading level. If so, I can’t figure out why journalists would write something that the average high school senior can’t even read."
"Hide things everywhere. Forget about them. Find them randomly and feel surprised like a pirate finding buried treasure. Avoid scurvy. Love more."
"Mainstream news wants to keep you as a useful idiot. Instead, try being a non-useful idiot."
"Selling something only to steal it back to sell again is not only dishonest, but highly profitable."
"What if guns shot clouds, rather than bullets? Then they’d not only be peaceful, but they’d be delayed water guns. Is there a Nobel Farm Prize?"
"I keep water in my pockets, as portable fish tanks. My love letters often get soggy with sentimentality."