More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I belong, and my penis, it be long."
"I drank her essence, and it’s like she never existed and now I’m thirsty again. Let this be a lesson in love."
"My sole possession is my passion, for no one can rob me of it. More fiery than love, it does not depend on another to blaze."
"Networking is like fishing. Just give some beer and a boat and I’ll be in business."
"I just invented a hug machine. It’s solar powered so you can use it when you feel depressed, like on a cloudy day. Shit."