I just invented a hug machine. It’s solar powered so you can... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"My love is powdered sunshine. Just add water. (Warning: Do NOT attempt to snort it or distribute as a healthy cocaine substitute.)"

"Comparing penis sizes is a much more nuanced and sophisticated way to determine who’s right than something as clunky and uncouth as a debate."

"Mainstream news wants to keep you as a useful idiot. Instead, try being a non-useful idiot."

"I used to think how lucky she was to have me, but now I realize that’s backwards. A spirit of gratitude yields patience, love, and forgiveness."

"Nothing carries meaning. People carry meaning. We are the porters of importance."