More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Reading makes you ready for the world. A man who doesn’t read is a man who is easily deceived. You must find that man and make him sign a contract, and you must do it before Satan does. Trust me, the profits are HUGE!"
"My love has a flow like a flower, so it’s best if you water it with the fragrance of romance, which has the aroma of loyalty."
"You are not your body. You are the sum of all your actions, and they live on after your body dies. You may be mortal, but your brand is eternal."
"I sympathize with a mother who has three mouths to feed—especially if two of those mouths are on her face. With a woman like that I’d listen twice as hard for doublespeak. I’m pretty accustomed to picking up on political rhetoric."
"I’ll sit on a soda and drink a sofa. It’s just healthier. You should see how I make love. Show starts at 8:00. Tickets are ten bucks at the window."