More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Relax. Just be. And be just."
"I let coffee drip into my mouth the same way I fall in love—slowly, as I wring out my shirt before going to scrub off the 32-ounce spill. I’m as romantic as a free-refill station that’s out of sugar, cream, and stirring sticks."
"Let’s get romantic and head to bed and make meatloaf all night long. I’ll wear my Ben Bernanke beard, because it fits me like a fur coat."
"My feet are dense with dance. I move like I’m wearing concrete boots and I’m trying to tread water. If the music is salsa, I may start gargling."
"Coffee can’t melt in the summer heat, and that’s what I like about liquid soap. Wake and Clean is my new product that combines both into one exciting new drink."