"The fragrance of romance is gratitude. Nothing says I love you like saying I love you. Sure, it’s better to show your love, but why not also say it?"
"There's someone for everyone. And when my clones get here, everyone will be able to have that someone. Prices start at $99."
"Politically, I feel out of touch, like I’m wearing gloves—boxing gloves. We need to go bareknuckle to beat back the entrenched establishment."
"In the land of Gibberish, the man who makes sense, the man who speaks clearly, clearly speaks nonsense."
"My heartbeat is a pulse, and it pumps out sonic vibrations that resonate with her mind as she lays her head on my chest. Listen silently and you can hear the frequency of love."
"My girlfriend just bought me a portable toaster. And my birthday’s coming up, so I’m half expecting her to buy me a portable bathtub to go along with it."