More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I have a doctorate degree from the School of Hard Knocks. I studied door-to-door salesmanship. This was before the doorbell was invented."
"Now that I’m 33.3 years old, the days of blue and green are behind me. I have left the earthy and entered into the purple phase of my life."
"I want to be so successful that my secretary needs a secretary."
"I don’t want my love with her to wither like grapes on a vine, so I’ll water it with romance to turn it into wine."
"I loved her, she loved him, and he loved himself. Now she loves me, he loves her, and I love myself as I am—without her in my life."