More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"In these modern times, the only sensible thing to be is nonsensical."
"Put your middle finger and your thumb together. And make it snappy."
"If you find yourself thirsting for my love, don’t forget that I sell straws in a variety of flavors. What is the price of romance? Good question. Today only it’s on sale for half-off wholesale prices. Everything must go. My entire inventory of straws is being liquidated."
"I would argue that unless the two people are in love, all sex is bad sex, because why eat cotton candy when you can have edible clouds? Sure, it seems sweet at the time, but that’s just a carnival and carnal rush and wears off quickly. But love adds an extra dimension that takes an earthy thing like sex and makes it absolutely heavenly."
"She moves through my memory the way the gentle river waves turn the setting sun's rays into a nostalgic light show."