"Our love went from fly to flower to butterfly, and it was meant to beautifully flutter, not sit still on a shelf like a trophy to be collected."
"I’m more of a journalist than anyone in the mainstream media, and I write fiction. More than fiction, I write absurd nonsense surrealism, and my work has more truth."
"A follow-up letter is best when not written on the back of a suicide note. Remember this next time you’re at a networking event, unless your new connection is a mortician."
"Ink is drinkable and printable. The words “I love you” don’t take up much space, but they can quench your thirst forever."
"As a fiction writer, let me make it up, and let me make it up to you. I’ll pen our love story, if you’ll be my co-author."
"Midnight is Hellen-Kelleresque, so if you ask me if I’m seeing anybody, I’ll ask you what time it is. Answers are always between 12:01 AM to 11:59 PM."