"Kevin Love has a last name that sums up my feelings for you. But then again, so does Renaldo Letsfucktonight."
"Like Alexander the Great and Caesar, I’m out to conquer the world. But first I have to stop at Walmart and pick up some supplies."
"I was nervous. Like an ice cube, I just froze up. Then I melted in some strange guy’s drink."
"There’s truth and honor in a mustache. And that’s why I started flying one on the flagpole outside of my house."
"I prefer long-distance relationships. If we were dating, would you be offended if I asked you to stand back a few feet?"
"Kevin Love has a last name that sums up my feelings for you. But then again, so does Renaldo Letsfucktonight."