"Like Alexander the Great and Caesar, I’m out to conquer the world. But first I have to stop at Walmart and pick up some supplies."
"Kevin Love has a last name that sums up my feelings for you. But then again, so does Renaldo Letsfucktonight."
"This book comes with its very own logo (logo sold separately)."
"The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me."
"I was nervous. Like an ice cube, I just froze up. Then I melted in some strange guy’s drink."
"There is until there isn’t. That’s just the way it is. Until it isn’t."