More quotes by Mark Twain

"Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation."
"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know."
"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce."
"Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be."
"A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat."