A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himse... - Mark Twain

"The test of any good fiction is that you should care something for the characters; the good to succeed, the bad to fail. The trouble with most fiction is that you want them all to land in hell together, as quickly as possible."

"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know."

"Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven."

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man."

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."