A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himse... - Mark Twain

"I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it."

"A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat."

"The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated."

"The lack of money is the root of all evil."

"The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up."