More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Ink is drinkable and printable. The words “I love you” don’t take up much space, but they can quench your thirst forever."
"My ex-girlfriend was exquisite, while my current girlfriend is merely quisite. The ex always makes the past seem more excellent than the present."
"In the land of Gibberish, the man who makes sense, the man who speaks clearly, clearly speaks nonsense."
"Read her poetry before you make love to her. That way she’ll be asleep when you do. I’m as romantic as a rocking chair with wheels."
"We had a whirlwind romance. That’s what happens when you date a tornado. Hold on, I have to stop tweeting for a bit because Kansas keeps calling."