More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I’m an only child, and therefore I gave birth to my parents, because if it weren’t for me, they wouldn’t even be parents."
"Man has two legs and chairs have four, because we were made to stand out, not sit down—or be sat on. You are your brand—you are not a piece of furniture. Well, this applies to everyone except my grandma, but she’s dead, so she really doesn’t mind being used as a coat rack."
"I think I’m mouth blind and that’s why all food tastes bland. The only things that have any flavor are the words I love you."
"I'm hanging on to her memory like Spanish moss on an ancient Florida oak, and unlike the sunset, my love won't fade."
"She plants love, and she grows roses. The fragrance of romance comes from the blossom that blooms in the heart."