More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"When I die, remember to remove my body from the cooler before you start making the hunch punch. But by all means, do get drunk on my memory."
"My coffee cup is empty. Why don't you pour your love in and wake up my soul?"
"He said he wanted to trade lives with me, saying he wanted what I have. He must want for nothing, because that’s exactly what I have."
"I told the joke, but someone else got the high five. That’s like me drinking a cup of coffee and a guy in a coma waking up. Go back to bed, buddy."
"I love deeply. I love long. I love wide and high. That's right, my love is interdimensional, and my vortex will heal your body and soul."