"How do new watches catch up with old watches that have had more time to get a head start? This is what I pondered while I waited on her to fall in love with me."
"Sometimes I’ll forget a utensil’s name, and I’ll say, “Give me that pointy thing,” as I point with my pointy finger."
"She moves through my memory the way the gentle river waves turn the setting sun's rays into a nostalgic light show."
"Using my nipples as bait, I went fishing for compliments. I got a few bites, but nothing to write about in Field & Stream."
"This morning, as I was driving to work, I mistook a big brown box on the side of the road for a deer. It was dark, and I swerved at the last second, and even though it wasn’t a deer, I still managed to nail that son of a bitch."
"She’s twelve hours in the future, and exactly half a world away. No matter how hard I try, I will always be a part of her past."