More quotes by Scott Adams

"Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt."
"I love you like a fat kid loves cake!"
"It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation."
"Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately."
"You're thinking I'm one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eating a few strips of bacon is bad for your health. I'm not. I say its a free country and you should be able to kill yourself at any rate you choose, as long as your cold dead body is not blocking my driveway."