"You're thinking I'm one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eating a few strips of bacon is bad for your health. I'm not. I say its a free country and you should be able to kill yourself at any rate you choose, as long as your cold dead body is not blocking my driveway."
"It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation."
"The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it."
"Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt."
"If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?"
"Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant."