Scott Adams

"If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?"

"Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant."

"Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt."

"I love you like a fat kid loves cake!"

"I love you like a fat kid loves cake!"

"Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto"

"Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant."

"The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it."

"You're thinking I'm one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eating a few strips of bacon is bad for your health. I'm not. I say its a free country and you should be able to kill yourself at any rate you choose, as long as your cold dead body is not blocking my driveway."

"Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately."

"Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto"

"Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep."

"Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt."

"It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation."

"Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately."