Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. - Ambrose Bierce

"The covers of this book are too far apart."

"Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion."

"Women in love are less ashamed than men. They have less to be ashamed of."

"Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows."

"Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic."