Love burns. Whiskey burns. George Burns. What do all three h... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I didn’t give her my full attention. The bottle was half full when she started drinking. Still, from it she grew distracted, so my farming technique worked."

"To be invisible, paint yourself with the direct shade of zero. Leave nothing to chance, by taking nothing with you wherever you go."

"Her love was too cold, like an anti-oven. That's called a freezer, and sometimes it burns food. She gave me heartburn, just like coffee, and it really woke me up to the reality of relationships."

"Instead of reciting her an original love poem using words, I think I’ll use my tongue to more creatively explore the deepest parts of her."

"I think eulogies are wasted on the dead. It’s the living who need to hear kind words spoken about them."