More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"In the long run, even a marathon looks like a sprint. This is how I can love with such Roger Bannisteresque intensity."
"When she tried to seduce me, I got suspicious, thinking she was just after my massive fortune. Then I relaxed, when I remembered I'm poor."
"I sympathize with a mother who has three mouths to feed—especially if two of those mouths are on her face. With a woman like that I’d listen twice as hard for doublespeak. I’m pretty accustomed to picking up on political rhetoric."
"I just bought a bag of poetry, but it was mostly air. The author must have learned from the potato chip industry."
"New streets should be Twitter friendly and be named with hashtags up front. I’d build a house on ‪#‎LoversLane‬."