"I wear a glove to honor all the men who have given me a hand. And to think, out of all those men, they only had one hand. No wonder I never get any high-fives."
"She asked me how I slept. Knowing she meant quality of sleep, I said I slept naked. It’s true. Ask any of the joggers who saw me sleepwalking."
"When people say they don’t understand my generation, I like to point out that it’s not “my” generation. I’m only co-owner with a 50% stake."
"Money is not equal for all people. A strong personal brand adds more lift and leverage. One dollar from me may buy a soda from a car dealership, but one dollar from Justin Bieber may get him a Ferrari. And they'd pay him to drive away."
"I let coffee drip into my mouth the same way I fall in love—slowly, as I wring out my shirt before going to scrub off the 32-ounce spill. I’m as romantic as a free-refill station that’s out of sugar, cream, and stirring sticks."
"My soul is invisible, like an anorexic’s dinner, but it sure enhances how I feel about my body."