"I wear a glove to honor all the men who have given me a hand. And to think, out of all those men, they only had one hand. No wonder I never get any high-fives."
"How do new watches catch up with old watches that have had more time to get a head start? This is what I pondered while I waited on her to fall in love with me."
"She cuts me deep with her words, with her withholding of words, and with her knife. I’m not sure which is the most painful."
"I want a moon canoe, because have you ever tried paddling through dirt? Love is a journey, and I try to travel as efficiently as I can."
"I was in love one time, I said as I held up my pinky. I would have held up my index finger, but I wasn't in love that long."
"Is it easier to get you to do what I want with a fist to your face, or a gentle pat on the back and a handshake? Let this be a lesson in power."