Love is like a portable lamp/sex toy. The world calls those... - Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

"I have never seduced a fish taco for selfish reasons. I am an altruistic lover."

"The waves were choppy, like Chuck Norris' karate hands. The ocean would have been still, if I weren't making love in it."

"In a blind taste-test, my kisses were rated as Helen Kelleresque. Women love how the only sense I keenly possess is nonsense."

"I don’t want to make love last, I want to make love second to last. The last thing we’ll do is cuddle."

"I know a thing or two about love. Well, maybe just a thing. A big, blurry thing, like Bigfoot."