Love is like a portable lamp/sex toy. The world calls those... - Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

"As much as I want to make love to you, I’d rather make love to your clone."

"Love isn’t all flowers, candles, and dancing midgets. No, it is much, much taller than all that."

"She didn't say it, I only thought she said it. So really it was my thought, my words, and not hers. How could I confuse "I love you"with "May I take your order?"

"The waves were choppy, like Chuck Norris' karate hands. The ocean would have been still, if I weren't making love in it."

"A coffin would make a great suitcase. If I folded it neatly, I’ll bet I could pack in all my love for you."