More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"It’s 4:00 in the afternoon and I’m just now putting on clothes. The life of a writer is as free as the pizza I just had delivered is not."
"My brain is divided into two butterflies, and both are in love with your rose-shaped heart. If you've got the garden, I've got my whole life."
"Reading makes you ready for the world. A man who doesn’t read is a man who is easily deceived. You must find that man and make him sign a contract, and you must do it before Satan does. Trust me, the profits are HUGE!"
"Love is 60% water, because a human being, the essence of love, is 60% water. But that’s the other 40% made up of? Easy—mint green tea and honey."
"I love firm hugs. Statues are so affectionate. Well, at least compared to my ex wife."