Love is something to be treated with awe. Or should it be aw... - Jarod Kintz, A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..

"I am not the Bird of Love I once thought I was. But my silence suggests I may be the Pterodactyl of Love."

"I found your love like I found religion: in an aluminum trashcan in the middle of the Utah desert."

"I hate when women give me that look. That overlook."

"The sunset faded and blended from pink to peach to mango in a smoothie in the sky. For as long as she doesn’t love me, I will love her."

"I told my doctor my penis was as thin as a spaghetti noodle. I asked if there was anything I could do to bulk it up, and he said, “Yeah, tell your girl to twirl it on a fork before she puts it in her mouth."