If you share your soup, I’ll share my wisdom. I brought a sp... - Jarod Kintz, A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..

"If you share your soup, I’ll share my wisdom. I brought a spoon, but did you bring a pen? How are you going to take notes, you fool!"

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More quotes by Jarod Kintz, A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..

"I found your love like I found religion: in an aluminum trashcan in the middle of the Utah desert."
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"I am my own love story. And I want to tell my love story, from the inside. Just add water and stir."
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"Love means never having to say you’re sorry for a minor stab wound."
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"At the age of four, I wanted to be eight. At the age of eight, I wanted to be 16. At the age of 16, when I started driving, I wanted to be a Ferrari. And now, at the age of middle, I want to be Stalin’s mustache and matching armpit hair. But only for personal reasons, not political."
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"I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn’t it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit?"
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