"I can’t define what love is. That’s like eating a pancake with a waffle instead of a fork. But you know it when you feel it, like petting a cat wearing a synthetic fur coat."
"You know, if a waitress asks me if I want ketchup with my fries, I’ll reply, “No thanks, I’ll just drink water.” And that’s not just a statement about table etiquette; it’s a personal quote that accurately reflects my moral and philosophical belief system."
"I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn’t it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit?"
"I don’t need love. I live in a forest. The quiet is my companion. The cold is my warmth. My heart once suffered from frostbite, but I removed and replaced it with a fuel pump."
"I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn’t it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit?"
"I am the Guillotine of Love, and I will never lose my head over another woman again."