"I just sprayed cologne on my hand and then pet the back of my cat's head while he slept, and he woke up so confused, trying to sniff behind his neck and all around wondering what sweet attack he was under."
"People tell me I look like my father. I've never seen my dad, so does that mean I look invisible?"
"I have a doctorate degree from the School of Hard Knocks. I studied door-to-door salesmanship. This was before the doorbell was invented."
"Love flows like flowers, and grows like water. I’m so thirsty for romance I could drink a dozen roses."
"I don’t want to develop—I want to evelop, because it’s more positive. Similarly, would you rather your love evolve or devolve? That’s why if you need me, I’ll be on the sofa trying to evelop myself as a person."
"Never let go of a good thing without a fight. Especially if that good thing is a pair of boxing gloves."