I once tried to light a joint with a fire ant, but what did... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"I once tried to light a joint with a fire ant, but what did I know? I was high on glue and in the third grade, just like grandpa."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"Let me just pause a minute and drink in this moment. And if you film it, I’ll be able to get free refills for life."
"Meatloaf is graphable in how far ahead it is in likeability categories. You can also play Mop the Floor with it. I make love like I make dinner that makes cleaning the kitchen more fun for the whole family."
"I told her I'd wait forever for her, but that was before I found somebody else who'd give me a ride home."
"I always wear gloves when I wash my hands. That’s also how I make love, and if you buy now I’ll throw in an extra bar of soap for FREE."
"My reality is it’s nighttime. The truth is I’m just blindfolded. How many people live like me, in self-deluded darkness?"