I once tried to light a joint with a fire ant, but what did... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"I once tried to light a joint with a fire ant, but what did I know? I was high on glue and in the third grade, just like grandpa."
"I once tried to light a joint with a fire ant, but what did I know? I was high on glue and in the third grade, just like grandpa."
"White letters plus white paper equals invisibility. Just because you can’t see my love for you, doesn’t mean I didn’t write about it."
"She looked so sexy with her sixteen cats that I just had to swipe right, but when she messaged me first quoting Monty Python, I knew it was Tinder love. Maybe on the first date we’ll knit the blanket we’ll make love under."
"Tennis is the only sport with love in the score, and that makes it the most romantic. I would be a player, but I wisely use the net to go fishing instead."
"To be angry is easy, but to forgive is hard. That's why to love is easy, and to love is hard. I try to be so hard that I'm soft, like a liquid rock, fluid and forgiving, but unmovable in my resolve."
"Meatloaf is graphable in how far ahead it is in likeability categories. You can also play Mop the Floor with it. I make love like I make dinner that makes cleaning the kitchen more fun for the whole family."