I once tried to light a joint with a fire ant, but what did... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"I once tried to light a joint with a fire ant, but what did I know? I was high on glue and in the third grade, just like grandpa."
"I once tried to light a joint with a fire ant, but what did I know? I was high on glue and in the third grade, just like grandpa."
"I need more frugality. I wonder where I can buy some."
"I like grape juice. Fermented grape juice—wine. It’s the drink of choice for champions. I know because I asked a bunch of winners."
"Her love was too cold, like an anti-oven. That's called a freezer, and sometimes it burns food. She gave me heartburn, just like coffee, and it really woke me up to the reality of relationships."
"A turtle is like a lizard in a bicycle helmet, and I think that’s romantic. That reminds me, I should write a love song called, “Dinner for two—plus one."
"I can’t use my intellect to figure out how to bypass my intellect. Love lies through the spirit, not the mind, and love never lies."