Microwavable ice cream is the future. Don’t wait for love to... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"Microwavable ice cream is the future. Don’t wait for love to melt all over your crotch. Scoop some Ice Cream Soup today."
"Microwavable ice cream is the future. Don’t wait for love to melt all over your crotch. Scoop some Ice Cream Soup today."
"Some people try to change the world one life at a time. Others try to change the world one death at a time. And I try to change the world one bucket full of dirt at a time."
"Different people have different ideas. We need to kill them—the ideas, not the people. The people we just need to torture."
"At the potluck, I brought two dishes: knowledge and mashed potatoes and gravy. Guess which one got cleaned out and which one hardly got touched."
"I want a moon canoe, because have you ever tried paddling through dirt? Love is a journey, and I try to travel as efficiently as I can."
"I drive as fast as four tire swings hanging from a tree branch in the middle of winter. I also make love with as much speed and rotation."