More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Her love was too cold, like an anti-oven. That's called a freezer, and sometimes it burns food. She gave me heartburn, just like coffee, and it really woke me up to the reality of relationships."
"I asked for info, and he offered it for a price. Now I’m selling him my security services, and if he doesn’t pay me, I’m going to give him a karate lesson—for free."
"My love burns for you like I’m an arsonist and marshmallows-on-sticks salesman. $2.99 each, or 5 for $10."
"I sip my coffee like I fall in love—alone in a field of flowers, writing poetry for the mailman, who delivers love letters, but never gets any."
"Your personal brand should be like water: not only clear, but transparent to the public. People thirst for that, and they will drink you up."