More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"If anybody is looking to rent a dancing partner for an evening, I have one left in stock. That one is me, and I am on sale ‘til Tuesday at two."
"I was gardening when I saw this snail/slug thing disguised as a leaf. Ah, isn't fall a wonderful time to slowly fall in love?"
"I called his broken promise heartbreaking, and he called it growing up. Oh, that’s mature—blame it on maturity."
"My girlfriend just bought me a portable toaster. And my birthday’s coming up, so I’m half expecting her to buy me a portable bathtub to go along with it."
"Let us embrace each other like we have the arms of two chairs. Let us dance like our legs are those of a table. We should do dinner sometime."