More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"If love were a dolphin with wings and a unicorn’s horn, being ridden by a blind leprechaun dressed like Rasputin, would you believe in second chances for love at first sight?"
"A turtle is like a lizard in a bicycle helmet, and I think that’s romantic. That reminds me, I should write a love song called, “Dinner for two—plus one."
"Only a fool would say they’re not a fool. Well, I am not a fool, which is why I say I am a fool."
"I wear a glove to honor all the men who have given me a hand. And to think, out of all those men, they only had one hand. No wonder I never get any high-fives."
"You can’t win in love. But if you could, I’d be the clear victor. Vodka is also clear, and I must be drunk."