More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I love Huey Lewis, but not the News, because the News is too depressing."
"If I were a Wild West cowboy, I wouldn’t ride a horse—I’d ride a wheelchair. More romantic."
"She doesn’t want me to leave, and she doesn’t want me to stay. That’s a double helping of Doesn’t Want Me, and one big I’m Not Hungry back at her."
"Using my nipples as bait, I went fishing for compliments. I got a few bites, but nothing to write about in Field & Stream."
"I slept through the award presentation for Napper of the Year. They had to wake me when I won. Winning was like a dream come true."