"Last weekend I went out of my comfort zone to go hang out with people I’d only heard about, and I met one new person who turned out to be a very valuable contact. I should try networking at my family reunions more often, because that’s how I finally met my dad."
"I kissed a mystery, and it tasted like a woman. Lips are always full of delicious secrets."
"Networking is more quality, and less quantity. It’s better to form a solid connection with one new person, than a liquid connection with ten. You don’t want people to think you drink too much."
"Sometimes I’ll forget a utensil’s name, and I’ll say, “Give me that pointy thing,” as I point with my pointy finger."
"Instead of a vow of silence, I took a vow of invisibility. At that time you were looking for someone to love, and that’s why you couldn’t see me."
"A tornado is the ultimate coffee grinder. Just add water, and you’ll wake the whole trailer park."